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What if......

 

A little house in in France?   No.....

 

I keep telling myself that I must do this, that or the other thing in order to be happy. I must go to France, I need to paint or draw. I want to eat French food in France and drink in France. I want to be in France. And it doesn't seem to be happening.

Today a friend died and the comment has been made by several people to be sure that you keep going after your dream. Okay, why am I having such a hard time with mine? What if this is the life I want and I don't recognize that?  Is that  why it seems so hard and I find reasons not to jump into the fire. Because I am happy now and in this place? It can't be that. I look around here and see all the things that displease me. These things and actions that don't make me happy. Am overlooking the pleasures in front of me?

What if I am basically a lazy person? Close to the truth I think. I have the ideas but no desire to actually execute them. so does that mean I am happy? No! Because I don't feel joy here. I feel so much of the time that I am empty. I must be shallow. Do you see how many of these sentences start with I. Maybe that's issue...too many I's.

This is my life and I need to live it. I just can no longer do what everyone thinks I should do or do what I think they think I should do. No do-overs in life.

What do you think?

Comments

If you're empty, you can't know your own depth.

This is your joint, so all your sentences can start with "I".

If you had the life you wanted, you wouldn't be concerned. Persistent doubt is a symptom of persistent error. What do you have to lose? Not what you imagine you have to lose, but what you have really done with the 812 days since the end of daily excuses?